Friday, October 8, 2010, 1:14 AM
I have never been in this stage ever since that incident. I always remind myself to never play with fire. Ended up, without sheer realization, i was stuck by that particular dillema. It struck me torrent of questions which i myself didnt even know where to get the answers from. Nights after nights, i prayed for a ray of light to show me the way out. I cried. I sobbed. I didnt want this to go on. It may not only hurts me but others too. May not be now, but in future definitely.
Today.... i did things rashly. I'm sure it wasnt me. Never been me. But.. i just did it without knowing the reason why. Suddenly it struck me. The lawful and the unlawful are obvious. And i quickly have it undo and mend my ways. Sometimes later, i finally got the answer. Sometimes later, i finally know why. It may be through a harsh way for me. But at least it wont be a misery in the future. Alhamdulillah, i thank Allah for this.
p/s: Deep down, i know what's right there and i can't lie.
